Talking but not blessing

Okay, so I know that most people will mumble to themselves while they're working. I have worked with many people who do or have done this. While it can be a little annoying at times, it's generally not a big deal.

HOWEVER, I've got psycho working about 4 feet away from me who takes it to another level. She has complete one-sided conversations.

I have been taking notes today. This is what I have overheard between 8:33 this morning and 2:13 this afternoon:

"Oh my god."
1 minute later, "Oh my god."
- I think she says these things just so I will say, "WHAT???" Of course I don't play.

“What is a 1099? Oh my god, even I know that.”
- There are several things like this that she says, I think, to show me just how smart she is... A real f'ing genius.

(Referring to her boss) "She's in there typing. I don't care; I just don't care anymore."
- OMG, her boss is typing? Oh the terror...the horror...wtf?

"Oh you're kidding me."
- Um no...No one is kidding you. No one is even talking to you, psycho.

"Oh my god."
- Yes again, but several hours later.

"You can't do that."
- WHO can't do WHAT? Further, who cares, she's a lunatic talking to herself."

"(Insert boss' name here), what do you want from my life?"(Said twice directly to her boss and another time while her boss was about 12 miles away from the office.)
- Oh pick me, pick me (waiving arm in the air emphatically, like a 3rd grader eager to impress the teacher...I know the answer!)

FOR YOU TO DO YOUR JOB, JACKASS! That was an easy one...

And one other thing:

Let's say you're going to sneeze. Many people will grab for a tissue or sneeze into their hands (hopefully to be followed by cleansing with soap and water) to avoid contaminating others.

Let's say her sneeze really is as loud and obnoxious as she makes it (although I'm not buying it. It is too forced and vocalized). Well anyway, I have quit saying "bless you." I know that might sound drastic and even a little mean. I promise that once she starts sneezing like a normal person AND covers her mouth, I will reinstate my bless you's.

I really think I'm losing it. I'm now passive-agressively not saying bless you after she sneezes.

It's time I learn the serenity prayer.